On Belonging

I often find it hard to explain to people my perspective on what my Rainbow family means to me. Some gatherers argue that we are individuals, but I have always felt that while we are individuals, we mean more to each other than the random people who show up at a football game. I view the gathering as a big dysfunctional family. However, the word ‘family’ is loaded with baggage so sometimes it’s easier to use other words.

In The Values of Belonging by Carol Lee Flinders (co-author of the Laurel's Kitchen cookbooks), she puts forth the principles of belonging in the introduction to the book. Reading them, I felt she was expressing what the gathering means to me in terms of our relationships to each other. She makes the point that the values of belonging say “This is where I belong” while the values of mainstream Western civilization would stay, “This belongs to me.” If you want to learn more about her and her work, visit her website. In the interest of sharing, I’ve included the bullet points of her values of belonging which for me expresses some of the best aspects of gathering. 

• Intimate connection with the land to which one “belongs.”
• Empathetic relationship to animals
• Self-restraining
• Custodial conservatism
• Deliberateness (being present)
• Balance
• Expressiveness
• Generosity
• Egalitarianism
• Mutuality
• Affinity for alternative modes of knowing
• Playfulness
• Inclusiveness
• Nonviolent conflict resolution
• Openness to spirit.

What do you think?